; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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