bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
All the doctor said was why
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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