vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize