wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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