Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
