Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
