How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Randomize
