so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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