it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just found a bag of teeth...
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
