I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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