Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
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