You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
