he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Randomize
