Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Randomize
