Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
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