1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
