It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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