We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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