you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
