Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
