last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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