come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
