he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
