How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
