if i can run in heels then i can drive
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
