Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
I have demons in me.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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