yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
