Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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