I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
