Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
You ever have a fart follow you around?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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