Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
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