the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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