I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
