Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
