No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
