girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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