Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
