I'm lost and stupid without you.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
We were destined to go to rehab together
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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