woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
