btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Randomize
