I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
you never un-have a 4some
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
