Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
He? As in you personified your dick?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
