Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Randomize
