i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
