Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
