I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
