i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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