wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
