i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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