Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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