He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize