hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
