You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize