I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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