..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
