Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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