you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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