Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
