Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
