This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
