ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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