Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
