Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
