i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
is wine microwaveable?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
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