The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
