Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
jump out the window naked night went bad
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
