good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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