I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
