It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
