Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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