Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
