I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You need Xanax blowdarts
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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