dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
