I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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