Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
