I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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