I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
