Umm I'm too high to move.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
