yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize