so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
is it fun? or sober?
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