you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
