soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize