If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
As shirtless as possible
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
