____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I could have mohawked her pubes.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize